‘I can’t…erm no hun..you can..just take the T off’.
You may experience it as anxiety, uncertainty, an wavering emotion over a decision you have to make, or that life isn’t as you envisioned it to be. I simply define it as the indecision between belief and unbelief. I love a particular movie quote from one of my favorite films, ‘Love and Basketball’, in this scene young Quincy’s mother tells him off for swearing whilst his Father corrects him for using the word ‘can’t’, his response “Boy, what I tell you about using that word..can’t should never be in a mans vocabulary.” Now isn’t that the truth…
The most funny thing is, is when you start to experience doubt by questioning yourself. Have you ever been in that position of doubting your own dreams, goals or that vision? I sat on my business plan for almost 3 years, questioning whether I could execute it, take the risk, and considered what would happen if it failed. I later came to realise that even thinking about all of that was a waste of my time and energy, nothing had happened yet and I had nothing to lose. You can become so indecisive that the original idea or decision you had in your mind becomes postponed without you even knowing!
Despite having lived with Jesus for almost three years and hearing His promise that He’d rise again from the dead, Thomas still said,
‘Unless I can see his wounds and touch him, I will not believe’ (John 20:25).
The thing about doubt is that we often want to see the result of that particular thing before even believing that it will work out! Do you question your ability to pursue your career, ministry, or business? Do you doubt your own worth? Do you doubt your aptitude to form healthy relationships? When fear, confusion, discouragement and despair take up residence, they rob you of confidence. But isn’t doubting just human? It is, but you cannot overcome doubt by reason, likewise trying to overcome your doubts one by one is like an alcoholic trying to reduce his or her alcohol intake one drink at a time. It doesn’t work…
Heres a few things that I have found have helped me when dealing with doubt.
Doubt your doubts, feed your faith and renew your mind.
Instead of letting it in, take the shield of faith, wherewith you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Don’t fret, wrestle, or reason with your doubts, disregard your feelings, and have faith.
Understanding what the solution of doubt is NOT.
The solution they say is, self-confidence a concept touted by the world; it encourages us to rely on our own skills and abilities. However, ‘He who trusts in himself is a fool’ (Proverbs 28:26).
It begins with a once and for all stand. It calls for a total relinquishing of your right to doubt anything. It’s saying, ‘I will not doubt!’ and surrendering everything.
I was a prisoner to overthinking, I would sit and think about an particular situation so much so that doubt became worry too, overthinking is a utter waste of time. I learnt this the hard way. It is time to cast down those imaginative ‘what if’ thoughts and take control.
Sometimes the root of doubt stems from an old view of yourself. When this happens, it is good to ask yourself: Am I clinging to an previous failure, something that did not work out or an old view of myself? Does this view or attitude cause doubt? To get rid of doubt you have to keep it moving..
‘If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection’.
Doubt can stem from opinions from others, unless the person giving you advice is someone you trust and the advice does not cause within you a negative emotion then you got to not allow your mind to be over-crowded by people’s opinion of your ‘ability’, as the purpose for your life has already been mapped out for you to identify and pursue.
Oh but darling, so what if you failed?
Do not allow past failures to determine your future. Yes, you failed in a particular thing, but does that stop you from trying again? If you have that mindset, then you may very well just live a life of ‘what ifs’, but if you look beyond that, you will try that particular thing again.
Make that decision and follow it through.
No explanation needed for this tip, just as you are able to make daily decisions, simply just use that method for all decisions, enjoy the process and allow things to take shape.
If you can identify the root to your doubt you remove the attention that you give it. Doubt is like an attention-seeking child. The more attention you give to it, the more attention it demands.
Words by Lara Jinadu
Photography by Mark Sebastian